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Thread: My intro

  1. #1
    daves0311's Avatar
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    My intro

    Here's my marriage/divorce story. I've got a few other things that helped me along the way to taking the red pill, years before all this. Maybe I'll share them one day too.

    I'm 34 years old and discovered this site, and some similar ones, within the past couple weeks.

    I was married for 10 years (11 by the time the divorce was final) to a woman I met while I was stationed in SoCal. Biggest mistake of my life. She lied from almost day one, about a great many things. We were scraping by, deciding whether to pay the electric or have meat with dinner this week, and always she 'didn't know where the money went'. Years later, just before the divorce in fact, I find out I've been bankrolling her family the entire time. She was paying her mom's credit card bills, phone bill, giving money to her grandmother to buy a dog (that the evil old **** neglected and abused), only the gods know where any of the rest of it went.

    ***I should point out that I'm not usually one to say mean things about grandmothers. The ex's grandmother is probably the most hateful, spiteful, meanest, vicious creature I have ever had the displeasure of spending any time around.***

    She was a hypochondriac, too.Or turned into one at some point. I'm not sure which. I don't care, either.
    The sex started getting irregular. I guess that's probably a nice way of putting it. She'd sit on the couch watching TV til all hours of the night on her days off, knowing full well I had to get up for work in the morning. At this point it might have been once or twice a month.

    Things seemed to get better for a while. I've since discovered, during my reading, that I should have realized this was a sign.

    She stopped working in 2008 when she got laid off, and since I made enough to support us (her, me, her kids), I didn't make a big issue of her lack of employment or try to get her to find a job. I figured that since she was home all day now, things would get done around the house, bills would be paid on time, etc. It's not like it's difficult to throw a load of laundry in the washer, run the dishwasher, sweep the floor, and write out a check for the electric bill. Take care of a little every day, and before long you're on top of things.

    If only.

    Days were taken up on eBay, Facebook and other social networking sites, sleeping on the couch, or playing jewel games on her laptop.

    Next came a total lack of sex, and then a complete absence of her being home. She'd take off for days at a time to 'hang out' with her friends (party and get high). I was trying to be supportive, since she was going through yet more medical problems. And I was still fully enmeshed in the Matrix, so I thought that a 'good husband' should shoulder more of the load and try to help her through her problems.

    Bollocks.

    Here's what was actually happening. At some point, I think it was around the 7 year mark, she started having a few boyfriends on the side. It might have been earlier, I don't know.

    Between not getting sex, and having a roommate party girl instead of a wife, on top of the hell her kids had put me through the entire marriage, I had had enough. The breaking point was when she took off for a week before her birthday, came back for one day, then took off again. Didn't ask me if I had any plans, if I wanted to cook dinner or anything, just did some laundry and took off again. By the time she came back (3 days later? Maybe 4), I had a pretty serious mad-on. When she asked me if I even wanted to be together anymore, I didn't even have to think about it before I said no.

    This was when the fun really started. She tried to shame me into moving out of MY house (pre-marital, inheritance property), with that "A REAL man would (insert shit she wants to manipulate you into doing here)". I was ready to do this, just to get away from her. She'd alternate between screaming at me and crying. She accused me of not having any feelings. Finally she left instead. We HAD an agreement, which I lived up to, on property. She also said she didn't want any alimony, didn't want to take my firearms, video games, books (I am an avid reader), etc. She took almost everything out of the house. I paid the movers that came to get her stuff. She took the car I'd just bought (08 Civic...this was in 2011). I was left with a computer, TV, books, firearms, a couch, my truck (a now-15 year old Chevy), and an 01 Neon with something like 250k miles on it. She would have taken the stove, washer, and dryer, but the latter two were too hard to get out of the basement and a stove is pretty much common equipment wherever you move into.

    That wasn't enough, though. (Keep in mind, she got several THOUSAND dollars worth of DVD's, a nice side-by-side refrigerator, dishwasher, all the furniture in the house basically, *including* the bed, AND $4000 cash.) She decided she wanted more. More more more. At least half of my 401(k). Half my pension. PLUS alimony. I said **** that and filed for divorce before she could.

    And the gears of the system ground on.

    And on. And on.....

    She lied on the court paperwork. She sent me nasty emails. She harassed my friends. She had her friend who worked at the same place I did pass along harassing messages to me AT WORK. She filed whatever she could think of to file, and delayed every chance she could. Court dates were pushed back, then pushed back again.

    Finally, and luckily for me, she wore herself out with her delaying tactics and games. She wanted the money NOW, so she told my lawyer she was willing to reach an agreement.

    In July of 2012, I was a free man again.

    Well, kind of.

    I had met a wonderful woman in the meantime. She was 10 years younger than me, and didn't have any kids. Both of which were bonus points in her favor. We got along great, she had a great personality and I thought she was beautiful (to me, beauty requires getting to know someone. Anyone can be attractive, or sexy, but beauty is the whole package, appearance plus person underneath). I moved back out west, because if I'm going to be starting my life over again, damn it I'm going to do so where I want to be. I grew up in the Rockies, and to me that is and always will be home. She came with me. The job situation was less than ideal, but we were happy.

    Or so I thought.

    I think her parents hadn't liked me from the word GO. They were constantly trying to get us to move back east. They were harping on her about this endlessly. Finally, they won. I came back from a four-day training class to discover that I was alone. Again.

    In a way, she did me a favor. It took me until recently to realize that, but I finally did.

    I'm not going to lie, I wanted to get laid. So I was browsing various internet 'dating' sites (I'll most likely post about my experiences with 'dating' websites from time to time). I wasn't sending out hundreds of messages, but I sent a few. No reply. Ever. Now, I know I'm not T.H.E. most attractive man on planet Earth, but I'm not some nasty little troll trying to catch billygoats who are trip-trapping on my bridge, either. If I try, I pull tail. I just don't usually try because I get so sick of stuck up ****s that think they're the gods' gift to men. I get compliments, sometimes from females young enough to be my daughter (if I had started producing kids at 16, anyway). So just on a whim I Googled "Why are women such stuck up *****es?"

    The results: mind = blown

    dontmarry.wordpress was one of the top results. Following links at every page I went to, I eventually made my way here. And thus, here I am.

    I'm not really ready to cease all relations with women. Libido is too strong, I'll admit. Whoever said that it decreases at my age needs to take turns kicking each other in the nuts with the same idiot that said that a vasectomy will reduce it. After getting snipped, my drive increased exponentially. And now, at 34, I think my drive is probably stronger than it was at 20 (and it was damn strong at 20).

    I'm thinking of going the "No long term relationships, no living together, just **** n chuck, wrap your junk and for the gods' sake have some sort of recording device for proof!" route when it comes to my relations with them.

    At some point I'd like to go back overseas and meet real women, not the worthless females we have in the US (whom I generally refer to as Ameri****s, not AW because they're not women even tho they're female).

    For right now, I'll continue working my low-paying, no benefits, long commute, more overtime than you can shake a stick at job, until either I finally get hired at one of the great many places I've applied, or they've all rejected me and I enroll at MSU.

  2. #2
    womanhater's Avatar
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    Welcome brother - but just to let you know, ****s are ****s in EVERY culture and EVERY nation. Nowhere is safe, and men from all over the world who belong to this forum will attest to this.

    NB lurkers and newbies - Even if every word of this intro is utter horseshit, THIS is how you write a mother****ing intro!

  3. #3
    hasmat's Avatar
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    Welcome home. Excellent intro.

  4. #4
    The Invisible Man's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by womanhater View Post
    Welcome brother - but just to let you know, ****s are ****s in EVERY culture and EVERY nation. Nowhere is safe, and men from all over the world who belong to this forum will attest to this.
    OP, please pay very close attention to what this man has just told you. It may be the most important truth you can be told right now at this stage of your MGTOW journey. Every single guy that takes the red pill for the first time and gets exposed to MRM material and truth has the same brilliant idea, go find a foreign woman and bring her back here. I can tell you from personal experience and from the experience of many brothers I have read about here that is the 2nd biggest trap out there, perhaps even worse than what AW have in store for you in many ways. Especially when you bring them back to the US, that is a bad move.

    I know someone who found nomarriage.com material (just like you did after their bad divorce) which advocates foreign women as the solution. He took it to heart and found a European girl who had moved to the US just like he was instructed. Everything was great at first, then there was an "oops" pregnancy and now he is trapped in living hell with a seemingly different woman than he first met. Of course all she does is bad mouth the US and how she hates it here. She has already threatened to steal his kid and run back to her own country if he doesn't tow the line, and she knows she can legally get away with it because she has talked to other women who have done the same shit.

    Keep researching and think very carefully before you make an even bigger mistake before. You haven't seen pure evil yet until you've witnesses one of these foreign women who want to strip you clean and send all your money back to their huge families back home.

    Anyway, great intro and good to have you on board!

  5. #5
    My Own Chief's Avatar
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    Outstanding intro! I wish none of us had to experience all those shitty (but not at all rare) encounters with the fairer sex, but you've learned a lot about what NOT to do ... and that's a decent start to figuring out how to live your life on your own terms. Thanks for joining us, and I look forward to reading more of your posts!

  6. #6
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    Excellent intro, and welcome!

    Regarding foreign women, I have this to say: female psychology and behavior is the same the world over. The only difference is the degree to which they can practice it and retain social acceptance. That is based on cultural environment alone. If you remove a woman from an environment where her natural inclinations are kept in check by social stigma, and place her in an environment where those inclinations are acceptable, she will indulge in them without fail.

    I knew a guy who immigrated here from Tajikistan with his wife. They married young, per their cultural tradition, and worked hard for about a decade to find the opportunity to come to the US legally. They came here, bought a nice house, and he went to work while she stayed at home. He was going to work for a few years to bank some more money, and then they were going to start a family and live happily ever after.

    Long story short, his traditional wife made herself some Ameriskunk friends, who taught her that everything she believed about being married was wrong. They got her indoctinated into Western feminism using peer pressure and, I shit you not, Sex and the City. She started dressing like a *****, much to his dismay, and then she started behaving like one. Within a few years, she had him removed from the home he paid for, and then divorced him. She already had her permanent residency by that point, so there was no loss on her part, only gain.

    That's how I met him, actually. He answered our ad on Craigslist looking for someone to rent out a room in a shitty old house some friends and I were renting on the bad side of town. It was a couple months before he could even be comfortable telling us what had happened to him. I moved out shortly after and didn't keep in touch with him, though I heard he eventually went back to Tajikistan to start over.

  7. #7
    daves0311's Avatar
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    I should point out, I said MEET real women, not bring them here. LOL

    IF I can achieve it, I'd like to get a job that allows me to travel, and eventually leave the US. Even if it doesn't tear itself apart in the next 15 years or so, this place is toxic. And it's only going to get worse. I've been reading Sovereign Man: Offshore Business, Global Opportunities, Freedom and Expat News a bit, and will continue to look into other places that have the freedom I want.

    This is long term, though. And may never come to pass. We'll see.

    Womanhater, thanks for the props. I WISH that every word was bullshit, because if it was then that would mean I hadn't had to live through it all. I don't think there's a day that's gone by since mid-2011 that I haven't said to myself something like "If only I hadn't met that **** and had stayed in the Corps. Ten years later, no marriage, but I would have still had the Corps!"

  8. #8
    ContentlyUnattached's Avatar
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    Welcome to the forum!

    They say that Eve fooled the devil, then the devil joined in co-existance with the woman in the "if you can't beat them join them".

    AWALT

  9. #9
    MrWombat's Avatar
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    Welcome.

  10. #10
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    Excellent intro, welcome!

  11. #11
    dsc
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    Welcome across Dave.

    Good to see you made it here..

  12. #12
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    "I'm thinking of going the "No long term relationships, no living together, just **** n chuck, wrap your junk and for the gods' sake have some sort of recording device for proof!" route when it comes to my relations with them".

    Conduct your affairs in this manner and you'll have done all you can to remain safe when ****ing these mother-****ing-****s.

    Better yet - do them in the arse. "Up the bum, no baby" ...

    Also, know this; as I have suffered a great deal in my life and come to the same conclusion as all other men who have suffered: Happiness comes from within. Never expect any human relationship to provide you with any form of lasting happiness what-so-ever. Even your own children will most likely end up hating you in the culture we live in nowadays; regardless of whether you stay with their mother, or not.

    Traditional families are the entry into the shit abyss in modern life.

    Learn to meditate; learn to embrace nature; learn to enjoy the present and you'll be on your way to Nirvana.

    And welcome. Don't make the same mistake twice.

  13. #13
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    Welcome!

    I'm not really ready to cease all relations with women. Libido is too strong, I'll admit. Whoever said that it decreases at my age needs to take turns kicking each other in the nuts with the same idiot that said that a vasectomy will reduce it. After getting snipped, my drive increased exponentially. And now, at 34, I think my drive is probably stronger than it was at 20 (and it was damn strong at 20).
    Don't say that man! I'm looking forward to getting older!

  14. #14
    Vic Ferrari's Avatar
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    Welcome Dave! Great intro!

  15. #15
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    Great intro. I am 39 and divorced at the 10 year mark. I haven't heard anyone expound on this but, in my case the ex getting some younger friends (****s) was the downfall of a otherwise decent life.

  16. #16
    DeusVult's Avatar
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    I have to reiterate, excellent introduction. Welcome aboard.

  17. #17
    Marcus20's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by daves0311 View Post
    ***I should point out that I'm not usually one to say mean things about grandmothers. The ex's grandmother is probably the most hateful, spiteful, meanest, vicious creature I have ever had the displeasure of spending any time around.***

    Remember the old fairy tales about the wicked old witch?

    In my experience, the old ladies are very often the most evil. (They are also the best at disguising it, after a lifetime of practice.)

    Welcome.

  18. #18
    fester's Avatar
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    Welcome, Dave! That is one five star intro!

  19. #19
    hhb3's Avatar
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    Welcome Brother

  20. #20
    Rod
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    Quote Originally Posted by womanhater View Post
    Welcome brother - but just to let you know, ****s are ****s in EVERY culture and EVERY nation. Nowhere is safe, and men from all over the world who belong to this forum will attest to this.
    While I'm not a woman hater like this user's nick seems to suggest, I do think that these words are words that every man should declaim to himself every day, until they sink in, and keep declaiming them so that they are never forgotten. The moment you forget them is the moment when your tragedy starts approaching.

    So many men lull themselves into believing that culture makes the woman. It doesn't.

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