Dating

[spidey]

I hate the idea of dating, the whole idea and social norms surrounding it highlight and reflect how unfair and confusing the interaction between the two genders have become.

Firstly before a date even begins, men are expected to be the ones who put their pride and self-esteem ont he line by asking a girl on a date. If said girl rejects this poor fellow, he will not only be ridiculed constantly for his rejection but may also be accused of sexual harassment (yes it has happened: h**p://fullcomment.nationalpost.com/2012/01/05/barbara-kay-in-canada-asking-for-a-date-can-bring-a-harrassment-claim/ ). As for the girl, whether or not she accepts the date, she will at least get a huge ego boost and something to brag about with all her giggling co-workers or friends

Secondly very few men honestly find spending an exorbitant amount of money on a high class meal, while listening to a woman's endless list of complaints (which include her problems at work, how all the men who pumped and dumped her treated her badly, her psychotic family and/or her cheating, backstabbing friends) any fun.

What kind of man would happily say "yes! I would love to spend over $100 to have the privilege just to sit, eat and listen to a woman complain or spew out an endless list of 'must haves' for her potential partner"?

To make matters worse, we all know that ALOT of women have given their bodies for free to the local player/bad boy, so why do average joes, nice guys and nerds have to pay for the possibility of having sex with her by taking her out on an expensive dinner date?

Paying alot of money "just to get to know someone" is not a good foundation for a fair and equitable relationship. No man here would be happy with a friendship where his friends demanded money just for the privilege of being in the same company as them.

And lets not forget the army of "independent women" who become offended when a man pays for their dinner, which results in a generation of very confused men who are either shamed for not being a "gentlemen" because they didn't pay for the girls dinner or ridiculed for having an old fashioned patriarchal mind set.

Now lets take the alternative, lets ignore the egotistical, narcissistic, overly entitled women and see a few things a man can do with a couple of free hours and around $100

• Hire a boat, buy a few cans of beer and go out fishing either by himself or with a few of his friends
• Goto the local pub and enjoy a good game, perhaps shout out a few drinks
• Buy a couple of video games (or many games on cheaper platforms such as android apps), which should keep you occupied for a few weeks
• Buy some DVDs, pizzas and spend sometime watching a good movie by yourself or in the company of family/friends
• Go buy tickets to a concert/game/show that YOU want to go to
• Go on a nice road trip
• Work out at the gym, train in martial arts or take up a sport
• Buy something nice for yourself such as fancy cigars/wine, multi-tool or hobby kits
• Save it! for your own financial security

Now that is just the tip of the iceberg, I am sure a few of the readers can come up with a few more that appeals to themselves, but what I am trying to highlight is that there are so many things a man could be doing instead of putting his pride and self-esteem on the line by asking a narcissistic whore (who may or may not sue him for sexual harassment) on a date where he is forced to listen to her psychotic ramblings.

As a final note, please remember:
The only difference between dating and prostitution is with a date you don't always get what you pay for.

[Gazza]

I always hated the fact that the onus is on you to ask her out so that gives her a form of control before you've even started because she knows you're interested, and she can make it seem like she's doing you a favour by saying yes. And because you've had to ask her out that's the justification for why a man should always pay for that date. It's as if they set all the rules.

But if she says no you're left looking a right idiot but women will always say "man up and ask". But a woman won't ask because she couldn't possibly risk the rejection and loss of self-esteem.

[piedpiper]

For valentines dinner I bought my GF 3 soft tacos at del taco for a buck (tuesday taco night). This was about 7 hours after I spent $18 on a steak (for myself) for lunch. The next day I teased her about it and teased her about getting old (it was her b-day).

Guys: do not spend money on dates! Women will want you for your money whether or not they get any of it.

Teasing is much more effective than complimenting. Women want a higher status male, if you gush compliments, they will subconsciously begin to think you are not higher status than them. And the hampster on the wheel will eject.

[Dudeist Priest]

Guys: do not spend money on dates!

Agreed. And while it seems counter-intuitive, women love it when we half-teasingly ask them to pay the entire bill. I've had dates where the woman actually agrees to pay for everything instead of splitting, lulz.

[hasmat]

I know what you mean. I just don't play the dating game. My dates all wind up one way. If they aren't up for that, they can go the fuck away. Bed. Made. Lie.

Congratulations empowered women. You win! No more marriage or relationships for you. Not from this guy.

Every girl I have over has to bring me a stuffed animal. I put them on a (big) shelf in my bedroom. Let's them know where they stand when they see them.

[Sam I Am]

Here's my 2 quid on the subject...

Firstly before a date even begins, men are expected to be the ones who put their pride and self-esteem ont he line by asking a girl on a date. If said girl rejects this poor fellow, he will not only be ridiculed constantly for his rejection but may also be accused of sexual harassment

First of all, you're only putting your self-esteem on the line if you're worried about your self-esteem in the first place. Go into it with an insouciant attitude and the RIGHT APPROACH, and you won't give a shit whether you get shot down or not.
And please, let's not go overboard with the "ridiculed constantly" if he gets rejected... Your one example of what happened in Canada is hardly par for the course. There's a time and place for everything.... asking your co-worker out is risky. Asking your co-worker out while you're at the office is risky. Asking your boss out is very fucking risky. BEGGING for a date is just BEGGING to be rejected...

As for the girl, whether or not she accepts the date, she will at least get a huge ego boost and something to brag about with all her giggling co-workers or friends

...and your point is.... what, exactly?
What does that have to do with the guy who asks her out?

Secondly very few men honestly find spending an exorbitant amount of money on a high class meal, while listening to a woman's endless list of complaints (which include her problems at work, how all the men who pumped and dumped her treated her badly, her psychotic family and/or her cheating, backstabbing friends) any fun.

Of course not. Then again, I don't particularly like that kind of woman even if I only spend a coupla bucks on her for an ice cream cone either.

If you're spending huge amounts of money on a first date, you're doing it wrong.

What kind of man would happily say "yes! I would love to spend over $100 to have the privilege just to sit, eat and listen to a woman complain or spew out an endless list of 'must haves' for her potential partner"?

Sometimes (many times), you don't know that's the kind of woman you're out with until you're actually on the date with her.
.....Which is why a coupla bucks for an ice cream date vs. $100 for a steak/lobster dinner is the smart(er) play.

But I get your point.

To make matters worse, we all know that ALOT of women have given their bodies for free to the local player/bad boy, so why do average joes, nice guys and nerds have to pay for the possibility of having sex with her by taking her out on an expensive dinner date?

Average joes, nice and nerds who pay an expensive dinner date have already (re)presented themselves as guys who think that's the only way they might have a chance at poon. Women already know this.... and it's a turn-off. Why should she put out the poon if you're already willing to put out the cash WITHOUT the poon?

..this mentality is no different from men who ask why they should get married if she's putting out the poon WITHOUT marriage?

Paying alot of money "just to get to know someone" is not a good foundation for a fair and equitable relationship.

Correct.
So don't pay a lot of money to try to get to know a woman (if that's your gig).

No man here would be happy with a friendship where his friends demanded money just for the privilege of being in the same company as them.

Right. And in fact, some of the best guy friends I've had never entailed me spending a fucking dime on them.
Try treating a woman like you would a guy friend (...this seems to be an ongoing theme for me today....) and see where that gets you. If she doesn't go for it and quits calling or whatever, then that's not a woman you'd want to be friends (or mates) with anyway.... bonus: you didn't spend any money figuring that out.
If she goes for it just fine and doesn't friendzone you, then there ya go.... bonus: you still didn't spend any money figuring that out.

And lets not forget the army of "independent women" who become offended when a man pays for their dinner, which results in a generation of very confused men who are either shamed for not being a "gentlemen" because they didn't pay for the girls dinner or ridiculed for having an old fashioned patriarchal mind set.

No argument on that from me.
If it's not clear from the very onset (at the point you ask her out) that you're going dutch, then arguably, if I ask you out, I presume (and am prepared) to pay for the date. You ask me out, then hey... that's on you.
She says, "Hey, you wanna do something this weekend?"
Monkey says, "Sure! Where are you taking me?"
...that says it right there: YOU, woman, are paying for the date.

If you ask me out and then expect me to pay, then you and I will not be going out. ... at the very least, you and I will not be going on another date in the future.

It's just like people who invite themselves to my house. Just because I've asked you to come over before doesn't mean you get to invite yourself over later. That shit pisses me off. It results in your not being invited back to my house in the future. It also means I typically don't have time to deal with your punk ass for anything, going forward.

Now lets take the alternative, lets ignore the egotistical, narcissistic, overly entitled women and see a few things a man can do with a couple of free hours and around $100

• Hire a boat, buy a few cans of beer and go out fishing either by himself or with a few of his friends
• Goto the local pub and enjoy a good game, perhaps shout out a few drinks
• Buy a couple of video games (or many games on cheaper platforms such as android apps), which should keep you occupied for a few weeks
• Buy some DVDs, pizzas and spend sometime watching a good movie by yourself or in the company of family/friends
• Go buy tickets to a concert/game/show that YOU want to go to
• Go on a nice road trip
• Work out at the gym, train in martial arts or take up a sport
• Buy something nice for yourself such as fancy cigars/wine, multi-tool or hobby kits
• Save it! for your own financial security

No argument. There are a LOT better things to do with one's time and money than hang out with a narcissistic cunt for a few hours... and then not get laid at the end.

As a final note, please remember:
The only difference between dating and prostitution is with a date you don't always get what you pay for.

Word is bond, brotha.

[Sam I Am]

I always hated the fact that the onus is on you to ask her out so that gives her a form of control before you've even started because she knows you're interested, and she can make it seem like she's doing you a favour by saying yes. And because you've had to ask her out that's the justification for why a man should always pay for that date. It's as if they set all the rules.

But if she says no you're left looking a right idiot but women will always say "man up and ask". But a woman won't ask because she couldn't possibly risk the rejection and loss of self-esteem.

for the record, I've been asked out by a few women before.

...but generally speaking, your point is very valid and I agree with it!

[Sam I Am]

For valentines dinner I bought my GF 3 soft tacos at del taco for a buck (tuesday taco night). This was about 7 hours after I spent $18 on a steak (for myself) for lunch. The next day I teased her about it and teased her about getting old (it was her b-day).

Guys: do not spend money on dates! Women will want you for your money whether or not they get any of it.

Yes! Yes! To jedi hansblinx, you padawans are to listen!

Teasing is much more effective than complimenting. Women want a higher status male, if you gush compliments, they will subconsciously begin to think you are not higher status than them. And the hampster on the wheel will eject.

Yeah, that's true. Not only that, but (catch-22), they can also start to think you're just saying [the compliment] as a means to an end, and don't really mean it... and then they get pissed off.... and then you are seen as a 'nice guy'... and then they are bored... and then they eject.

same result.

[Sam I Am]

Agreed. And while it seems counter-intuitive, women love it when we half-teasingly ask them to pay the entire bill. I've had dates where the woman actually agrees to pay for everything instead of splitting, lulz.

that's happened to me only twice....
...probably because I only tried it twice.

Hrmmm... correlation? ... I think so.

[Sam I Am]

I know what you mean. I just don't play the dating game. My dates all wind up one way. If they aren't up for that, they can go the fuck away. Bed. Made. Lie.

Congratulations empowered women. You win! No more marriage or relationships for you. Not from this guy.

Every girl I have over has to bring me a stuffed animal. I put them on a (big) shelf in my bedroom. Let's them know where they stand when they see them.

I like haz and his situation(s)... he's on a whole 'nother level from my vantage point. Haha.. Many kudos, brother.

I think I'm developing penis envy... haha

[Sam I Am]

It's so wrong... but so right.

I gave up on old-school dating a long time ago. The turning point was when I started holding women to the same standards I hold my male friends to. Through that lens, most women simply aren't enjoyable to talk to: not curious about me or their environment; and, worse, they usually have little of interest to say about themselves. So why would I pay for the dubious privilege of listening to them?

If a girl wants you, she'll fuck you for free. As Leykis says, spending anything more than pocket change on a date is a gross malinvestment. And if you do have to pay, she's sending you a message: she doesn't really want to sleep with you anyway. So why bother? At least legitimate prostitutes are forthright about their business.

Great post, Spidey.

Very solid!

[hasmat]

I like haz and his situation(s)... he's on a whole 'nother level from my vantage point. Haha.. Many kudos, brother.

I think I'm developing penis envy... haha

A few of them have photos floating around here. Not bad. LOL, amazing what happens to your sex life when you stop giving a shit about them.

[Sam I Am]

LOL, amazing what happens to your sex life when you stop giving a shit about them.

to the lurkers...

want to increase your chances at fucking Chick #1 tonight? Don't say anything to her about fucking her...
Just go up and tell her you're gonna go take some other chick [preferably within immediate sight of Chick #1] home and fuck her.

Watch what happens.

[hasmat]

One of my "friends" just sent me an email with a picture of her cousin. lmao.

[Sam I Am]

hehe.... don't we have a smiley for THIS THREAD IS WORTHLESS WITHOUT PICS!

?

[Sam I Am]

haha... let's try this..

[hasmat]

I'll post some "you know where". I'm going to be "away" tonight, so maybe tomorrow.

LOL. I now come with references.

[Superion]

It's so wrong... but so right.

I gave up on old-school dating a long time ago. The turning point was when I started holding women to the same standards I hold my male friends to. Through that lens, most women simply aren't enjoyable to talk to: not curious about me or their environment; and, worse, they usually have little of interest to say about themselves. So why would I pay for the dubious privilege of listening to them?

If a girl wants you, she'll fuck you for free. As Leykis says, spending anything more than pocket change on a date is a gross malinvestment. And if you do have to pay, she's sending you a message: she doesn't really want to sleep with you anyway. So why bother? At least legitimate prostitutes are forthright about their business.

Great post, Spidey.

So frick'n true!!!

[hasmat]

So, my date for tonite, Jenni, canceled. What's a guy to do?

Easy, I replaced her with a girl named Jen, whom I have yet to meet. Problem solved.

Men. Problem solvers since Adam.

I hope she remembers the stuffed animal...........

[hasmat]

The replacement Jennifer was far cuter, sexier and fun than the Jen she replaced. She just left.

I'm sure there is some really inspiring quote that sums it up.....I can't think of it right now. Goodnight gents.