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Thread: You're trying too hard and not giving a ****.

  1. #1
    shade47's Avatar
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    You're trying too hard and not giving a ****.

    Guys that aren't successful with women but refuse to give up are told by women/manginas to stop trying so hard and things will work better. Girls say they like guys who, "don't try so hard" or "don't give a ****".

    Girls don't have the first clue what it means for a man to not give a ****. Men who don't give a **** are not visible. At best men who don't give a **** go to work just to pay the bills and survive. When Friday comes around they play xbox after work till the sun comes up and sleep until Saturday afternoon. They leave their one bedroom apartment just long enough to get subway and stop at the ATM so they can pay the escort they are going to **** later to leave.

    Men who stop trying so hard are not boyfriend material. Instead of spending time looking presentable, going out and dealing with rejection they go with more fool proof schemes and next thing you know we get the, 'where have all the good men gone?" articles.

    It really bothers me when women think they know what male activities like "not giving a ****" are. They don't have the first clue and they should shut the **** up. Telling me to stop giving a **** when you don't have the fist idea of what that means is idiotic a best. If I stopped giving a **** there is no army of white knights coming around to keep me from derailing.

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    Rebel's Avatar
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    Well, what the ****!

    I'm not sure I understand what "not giving a ****" means but I don't give a shit about it.

    On the other hand, it is true that if you are too eager to please women they will see you as needy. Bad boys don't give a **** but they **** just the same. Women don't want men to care for them or about them. And when you think about it, it's better that way.

  3. #3
    shade47's Avatar
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    My point being that truly not giving a **** is not what they are talking about. Not giving a **** about anything in general causes guys to drop out of society. Someone started a conversation with me and said something to that affect. I didn't know how to articulate to them that they were full of shit so I brushed them off.

    Now that I have been thinking about it when women tell men to "stop trying so hard" or to "stop giving a ****" what they are really are saying is that they should become very selfish and stop caring about other people.

    Stop caring about how your actions affect others. If you are dating a girl and you have an opportunity to have sex with her friend you should do it because you "don't give a ****" and that's kind of why I never understood what people were talking about when they have told me to not give a ****. I've not given a **** before but it was in the true fashion and not in the selfish not giving a **** about others style that women are attracted to.

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    Gromnir's Avatar
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    Yep, the "stop trying and you'll find someone" is pure bullshit. If you really do stop trying, you'll simply disappear off the radar. That isn't a bad thing if your plan is to GYOW, but it's terrible advice for pussy-addicted men trying to get a woman.

    The key is create the illusion of "not giving a ****." These bad boys that get laid actually do give a ****, otherwise they wouldn't bother with any of it.

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    Listen to ages-old wisdom and not to women's BS: "It is not the handsome one that ****s, but the persistent".

    Not that it matters anymore. Since I went my own way, I trully do not give a **** about women or pursuing them. I am happy and content ghosting, a true state of equilibrium!
    Last edited by Zedesky; 06-25-2012 at 03:17 AM.

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    I'd like to say that I stopped giving a ****, but honestly, I don't think I ever gave a **** in the first place. I've spent my entire adult life going my own way and a majority of that time has been spent ghosting. I didn't know there were terms (going your own way and ghosting) for the way I was living my life until I found these forums. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one living the dream.

    I'm not boyfriend material by choice. I prefer a life of introverted solitude. I rarely go out in public unless it's absolutely necessary. I go to work during the week and on Friday afternoon I stock up on food for the weekend and don't leave my apartment until I leave for work on Monday. And you know what? I couldn't be happier.

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    Blackknight's Avatar
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    I don't give a **** and I'm not having to deal with hordes of women beating down my door.

  8. #8
    xtc
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    It reminds me of the kind of haircut that always seems to work so well with women: the 'studiedly messy' look. Some men spend a long time in the bathroom with gel and comb making sure their hair is just messy enough.

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    shade47's Avatar
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    good point xtc.

    well groomed chaos seems to be the desired affect. In the end though my idea of what is better, lots of high end money and power like a shadey businessman or lots of life style and thug attraction.

    I'm of the belief that the white collar criminal may have more pull on better looking women and larger numbers of them then the outlaw biker type.

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    well groomed chaos
    My father was like this as well. My ex, even more so. They thrived on chaos. They needed it. They felt compelled to use chaos just to annoy and abused other people. People like this do one thing for you and they do it well. They give you the tools to develop a very thick skin when it comes to their bullshit. ...and when they realize that you utterly do not give a **** about them, or their activities, and then they realize that they can no longer touch you in ways that matter, is when they full go off the deep end.

    If you thought they were awful to you before, just wait, because if you truly achieve indifference towards them, it will twist inside them and it will be something that - for them - will not go away.

    They do give a ****. They care very much about controlling those around them, and having those in their lives to be able to abuse. When they lose those people, they lose the ability to abuse and as their circle grows smaller, they grow more lonely and even more frustrated.

    So help them, and help yourself. Eliminate the people in your life that cause you chaos and in the process, move toward indifference when it comes to them, with a mild (or deep) satisfaction that you know you've reduced their circle of control and frustrated them by eliminating someone they can freely abuse from their lives. YOU.

    Don't tolerate their abuse. Don't take it. Get out of the relationship. Remove yourself from it. Don't devalue yourself.
    You deserve better than to continue to take that kind of abuse from anyone, even if right now you don't truly realize it!

  11. #11
    Blackknight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shade47 View Post
    good point xtc.

    well groomed chaos seems to be the desired affect. In the end though my idea of what is better, lots of high end money and power like a shadey businessman or lots of life style and thug attraction.

    I'm of the belief that the white collar criminal may have more pull on better looking women and larger numbers of them then the outlaw biker type.
    Women need at least two men, a provider and a bad boy.

  12. #12
    toadman's Avatar
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    The key is create the illusion of "not giving a ****."
    Who says it's an illusion?

  13. #13
    Duncan M
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    "You try too hard."
    "You need to put more effort into it."

    It is all a catch-22 gentlemen.
    Bottom line is: If you make her pussy tingle and she is really into you, you can do whatever you want and her Hamster will fill in the rest. No effort = fine, he is busy, popular, he'll change etc. Too much effort = He is really into me!!!! How romantic! etc. You can cheat on her with her sister and she will blame the sister. If she is not into you she will dump you for something as abitrary as when you drove 20 mile to bring her a lunch when she had to pull a double shift at the last minute, you put too many sprouts on her sandwich, and you didn't pack 2 cokes so her BFF could have one.... You just don't care enough...

  14. #14
    karligula's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Duncan M View Post
    "You try too hard."
    "You need to put more effort into it."
    It is all a catch-22 gentlemen.
    Very true. I've often theorised that if a woman likes you, you don't have to lift a finger, she'll be all over you. But if she doesn't fancy the pants off you IMMEDIATELY, there's nothing you can say or do to EVER change that. So there's really no point chasing women. Just do what you want to do and the women who like it will let you know.

    Which ties in nicely with not giving a ****. I think it's the link to why women go for alpha guys and thugs, and ignore the beta guys. They're attracted to men who don't listen to anyone else, who make their own rules.

    Thugs do this because they don't care what anyone ese thinks, they do what they want, when they want, no matter what damage or hurt it causes anyone else. Women LOVE that.

    Alpha guys do this because they're leaders, they don't listen to others because others listen to them. They set the rules and everyone obeys. Women LOVE that.

    Beta guys are followers, they take into account other people's feelings, but generally do what the alpha guys tell them because mostly if he's right, they're fine with that, and don't feel the need to assert their own ideas just to be a *****. Women DESPISE that.

    In women's eyes, thugs and alphas act like men, while betas act like women. And I say this as a self diagnosed beta man myself. I read on one of the threads ages ago that a forum member was trying to "develop his masculine identity." Having been raised solely by women I can understand what he meant. Right now, that's what I'm trying to do.

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    Thrasher's Avatar
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    I'm invisible, and couldn't be happier. Frankly, if a woman did show interest in me, I wouldn't know how respond, and she'd lose interest. That's for the best - the only women I even see are obese, tattooed, constantly texting, trashy "Snooki" wanna-bees with unwashed kids in tow.

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    Matt Foley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shade47 View Post
    ...Men who don't give a **** are not visible. At best men who don't give a **** go to work just to pay the bills and survive. When Friday comes around they play xbox after work till the sun comes up and sleep until Saturday afternoon. They leave their one bedroom apartment just long enough to get subway and stop at the ATM so they can pay the escort they are going to **** later to leave.
    After you factor in the constant financial stress of supporting a mortgage, two cars, kids, and a spoiled wife, many married men would think long and hard about trading their current lives for what you just described. Most don't though because they are committed to their families.

    But for these dedicated husbands, the expectation of remaining committed only applies to them. When the hamster wheel starts turning and cupcake decides to give dad the boot, he finds himself in a horrible predicament.

    He is forced to live within his means, play XBOX whenever he wants, order pizza (or eat healthy), plan weekend getaways to visit friends that cupcake didn't approve of, follow his passions, start mountain biking, go to the gym as long as he wants, surf the Web for ****s... it's just terrible what she did to him!
    Last edited by Matt Foley; 06-29-2012 at 06:32 PM.

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