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Thread: Don't Date Single Moms

  1. #1
    Nacho Vidal's Avatar
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    Don't Date Single Moms

    I thought I would set down a "rough guide" for men thinking about starting a relationship with a single mom and what some of the ramifications are of dating and entering into a deeper relationship with a single mom could be. Of course this guide does not apply to all women or all men but it will list the main problems I have observed through over the years.

    Contrary to popular media-myth I have yet to meet a single mom who was career driven, carefree, balanced, happy; doing it all type gal as often portrayed in most media outlets. The reality I have seen over the years is usually a stressed out, overworked, debt stricken woman who really had no idea children cost so much in time, effort and money. Their careers are on hold as they need to balance their child with sickness, school activities etc versus moving up whatever career ladder they are on. Most single moms are raising their children with help of an extended family member (usually their mom), a bevy of friends and other single moms they find in support groups. It is usually not a pretty picture at all.

    Somewhere along the way, usually quite quickly they come up with the idea that they need a "partner" to help them in their new enterprise of having a child and the sooner they can get one the better. Realizing they have a bit of a disadvantage with having a child and being in the dating scene they resort to several well known strategies to get a partner.

    One of the first strategies is to engage men who do not have children of their own. This allows the woman to portray the semblance of having and raising a kid is easy and there will always be a balance between their relationship with their partner and their child. Sometimes they will portray themselves as helpless victims, victimized by an evil and absent father they need saving and you can save them. Another popular scheme is to make themselves look accomplished and together by extending their debt to ridiculous levels to portray they are all right and don´t really need a partner. There are quite a few more, but like I said, this is a rough guide.

    One of the strategies is to involve the child with the prospective "partner" almost right away and foster a relationship between the man and her child. This allows a lot of leverage on several levels as time goes by. It allows for huge amount of guilt and shame if the man wants to break off the relationship, allows a bonding to take place that is hard to shuck off and other factors... You will hear phrases such as any man who loves me must love my children! etc.. All designed to appeal to a mans sense of chivalry and protection. This hopefully facilitates a sense of belonging together and in the end marriage.

    Most single men are unaware of what is going on when they start to date a single mom. It seems that the child is around, but it is pleasant, there is a clear distinction between adult and child time etc, it seems actually for most men, not a bad time at all. This allows the single mom to get the man closer and farther into the relationship. What is really going on is a shit-load of help from the single moms friends and other helpers. Tons of babysitting services, tips on dating, comparing notes and plans etc. No matter what you see as a man there is something else going on do not forget that. Her plan is to eventually get a partner one way or another. You are the prize and she is going to earn it.

    One trait that seems to come to the forefront with most men who are dating single moms is just how wonderful a woman they really are. Most men cannot for the life of them figure out why another man would abandon a woman like her. It has been stated that single moms are more caring, compassionate, great lovers, excellent cooks, laugh at all your jokes etc they seem to be ideal mates.

    What is actually going on is well planned and orchestrated strategies to get a man into a relationship. I don´t know how many men have loudly complained that after marriage they were suddenly now doing most of the cooking, cleaning, and repairing around the house with zero time like they had before. I don´t know how many have said it was like night and day after they moved in. The kind compassionate woman the men met had some how now been replaced by a truly different woman, it was like another personality type than the one they married. In short a single mom knows she has to work harder to get a man and she will work harder, but for many the act cannot last that long and the real woman reveals herself. Usually this occurs just after marriage.

    A lot of men though go for it and involve themselves in marriage with a single mom and do not really know some of the problems they will encounter. Here is a short list of several common problems that begin to creep up:


    1. Being a "partner" means you get to pay for half- if not more. I have noticed after marriage a single mom works at dizzying speed to make sure her mans name is on all of the bills. She also will usually demand money also for a huge amount of her child´s expenses. It is also expressed as a part of "loving her and showing it". I have seen men putting money away for college for a kid that´s not his. Buying ridiculous amounts of brand name clothes, expensive homes etc all in an effort to be in a so-called "family".

    2. The Family you just got into is by invitation only. In most traditional marriages that produce children, the man, woman and child or children make up he basic family unit. In being a step- parent you are not the basic unit. The mother and child together are the basic unit. You are invited in and can be un-invited whenever mom feels it to be so. No matter what is said or mentioned before marriage, you will never come before her child. You will always be in a family and relationship where you come second, maybe third.

    3. No matter what you think her ex is going to be there forever. In just about every case the child´s father does not seem to be in the picture during the dating and courtship stage but seems to suddenly show up after. The reality is he was always there, your partner just never mentioned it. The father will most naturally want to have a relationship with his child and he is going to be quite involved most of the time. Just about every time you will be dragged into the endless bickering and fights they have and you will not be liked by him "its only natural remember" also be sure to take into account the grandparents, uncles and aunts and all the family functions you will be attending with him, his child, his ex (your partner) and his side of the family. Get used to being uncomfortable.

    4. Her kid will most likely not like you very much. Let´s face it you´re sleeping with their mom and most of the time the child will see you as a roadblock to his parents getting back together. Most likely the mom has made you the giver of discipline in the relationship, being the man and all which results in the kid hating you. Or after watching the child run amok for weeks after you arrive you change juniors´ schedule to include some discipline and then you also hated even more. An amazing amount of men involved with single mothers report how the child hates them, but he can keep buying gifts to try to win their affection. Some call it the ATM effect of diminishing returns.

    5. All that time you had together with your new love will end after marriage. The number one job of a single mom is simply to be a mom. She is not a party girl, hiker, camper, biker, clubber etc. Just be prepared for a frontal assault on your time and money after marriage. You will find your weekdays taken up with homework, PTA meetings, suppers at home, and early bed times. Weekends will be the time for the child´s extra-curricular activities and other activities. If a single man is wondering what happens ask any father of children how their time is spent, it will not be on hobbies. You will hear endlessly the phrase "we are a family now and this is what a family does" of course your idea on family will differ, but it is her family and she will make the choices.

    6. You will wonder what happened to all your money. Most men involved with a single mom report that their money seems to dry up. Children are expensive and expensive like most men have no idea. Between school supplies, clothing, vast amounts of food, babysitters if you ever want to go out, medications, fees, sports, supplies, toys and such; well, there will be little left.
      As a footnote there is also another ploy by some single moms that men also forget about. The child´s father is paying for a lot of these things. Quite a few men have reported that their wife or girlfriend was getting them to pay for such things as sport fees, equipment, university funds, school supplies and such but at the same time getting the child´s father to pay for these things also. Double billing, also called fraud, is quite common but it does allow the single mom to have almost zero expenses for her child as two men are now paying for junior. Another ploy that is quite horrific was a man whose wife owned a home and he moved in with her and her child. Although he fixed it up, paid half the mortgage and expenses- she had willed the home to her children. When confronted she said since she would be dead she did not care if he had a home or not, her child came first. So be careful with matters of money. Very careful.

    7. You will never really be accepted. I have observed time and time again the heartbreak of a step parent as the child gets older. After putting them through school, providing a place to live, food, getting the child all kinds of gifts and honestly really caring about the child and such I keep hearing this one story over and over. The time comes for a grad or a wedding, the step parent thinks he might be lauded for his sacrifices but instead is shunted to a back seat or not invited as the child invites mom and dad to the party; and thanks them for all their love and work. Usually there is not even an acknowledgment of effort.

    8. You will now be part of the single moms´ network. Be prepared to help out all her buddies as they helped her out. Endless weekends and nights of babysitting the other single moms kids so that they too may date and get a man. You will also discover why 75% of all people in jail come from single mother households. Try not to have any expensive items around.

    9. Now that the single mom is now married she will need to impress her single mom friends with her new found happiness. Her happiness will usually include a new home in a good neighborhood, new clothing, new items for the home, new car etc; there is an unwritten law it seems among a lot of single moms that they compete ruthlessly with their friends. If she does get married she needs to show them her new found prestige. Be prepared for huge new expenses.

    10. You will have no time for errors. A lot of single men get involved with the single mom and her kids when the child is a bit older. Being inexperienced with children becomes a huge burden as the single man has no time to learn parenting skills; and mistakes are not readily forgiven nor forgotten when a kid is 4 compared to 14.

    11. You may think it ends, but it never does. I know many men whose single mom wife promised them a completely different life after junior turned 18 or so. At the beginning of the relationship it looked like just a few years and then total privacy and freedom. Then years later they found out that junior is going to go to university for 6 years after taking a gap year off and not worry about a job as he will live at home. After that the story usually is that the child gets married and has kids and needs a ton of babysitting services. The dream of trips abroad, moving to a nicer place etc. evaporates for most men. They just wind up being early grandparents. The other option that happens a lot is the girls have children early and stay at home. Not only is the man taking care of his wife´s child he also has to care for her grandchild now!

    12. You will have nothing to show for it. In the end when most men have their own children the work and effort is well worth it. The men did their best and raised a family, continued a line, get grandchildren etc. As a step-parent you have contributed as much but you have nothing. Nobody carries on your name and most men realize they are not even ever thanked for their sacrifice.

    13. The legalities can kill you. There have been numerous cases where a man has divorced or left a single mom and then found himself liable financially for her child. Although not the father he will be responsible for child payments, extra fees and most certainly university far after they are 18 check the laws out, it´s a raw deal. Couple that with some alimony and you get the whole effect of being a divorced and homeless dad with not one child of your own.


    In the end women have asked for their freedom to make their own choices now for decades. I would advise all single men to let single moms make their choice of having a child by themselves and then live with it. Don´t involve yourself with these women under any circumstances. It can be in many ways, the death of a man.

    Well it´s a rough guide and you were warned.

    Author: Zen King (Taken from Happy Bachelors Forum)
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  2. #2
    Legacy's Avatar
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    I don't know any men in my family who married single mothers. There have been a few nasty divorces, but no true manginas. The single-mom epidemic is a creation of anglo-countries, with its rewarding welfare state and lavish child support laws. The only single mothers in France come from immigrant generations (black Africans and Arabs). Very few white girls get pregnant before 25 here.

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    AussieSteve's Avatar
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    I once went out with a single mother. One night I went to pick up a CS payment from her ex. I was met by his new wife who handed me the money. One of the most bizarre things I've ever done - and I've been on stage tripping on acid!

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    Superion's Avatar
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    As a child of parents who divorced I agree with you that the children of a single mom will always hate you because they see you as a roadblock to mom and dad getting back together.

  5. #5
    Nacho Vidal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Superion View Post
    As a child of parents who divorced I agree with you that the children of a single mom will always hate you because they see you as a roadblock to mom and dad getting back together.
    The White Knight can get round that by getting involved in the early stages of the child's life! However, what the ***** doesn't realise is that one day, after years of emptying his wallet for a bastard child, he'll be told by the child:

    "You can't tell me what to do, you're not even my real dad!"

    Witnessed that myself...and it's a classic White Knight/Mangina destroyer and the ultimate humiliation; the sudden realisation that money can't buy you love!...Oddly, they never go on to put two and two together and realise that their money just bought a bit of used up pussy and they themselves have been USED!

    So many men out their that could have had it all...but wasted it on a **** n blow and raising someone else's seed?

    IDIOTS!
    Support MGTOW Forums, go GOLD

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    womanhater's Avatar
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    I must confess how wonderfully delicious it is for those of us who have an ex who has our children to watch the crash and burn. My ex moved a thug (seriously, had spent time in prison on gun charges and had been institutionalized for psychiatric disturbance) in almost as soon as she booted me. Needless to say, he knocked her up and then took off. Now that moronic **** ex of mine is giving me the "get the family back together" line of shit.

    It is truly offensive to me on the one hand that she'd even think that I'd take the worthless **** back after what she'd done, but to think that I'd also take in another man's kid??!! NO MOTHER****ING WAY!!!

    What these stupid ****s don't realize is that only the dumbest of dumbest dumb**** men would EVER get remarried to them after they'd been sprung from the prison once! Good God, for all the bullshit the **** put me through to think I'd EVER be dumb enough to even ever be alone with her again - just ****ing amazing.

    GHOST men, GHOST! It is the ONLY sane and safe option.

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    donttrustwomen's Avatar
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    I dated a single mom before you know what happened? She cheated on me with her sons father yeah the guy who was a jerk a loser, but whose always around.

    Life lessons, I'll never date a single mom again not even a casual smash

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    AussieSteve's Avatar
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    That's priceless DM.
    "I don't know how I got myself into this situation. I feel like a bad mother."
    The answer is simple; "you are a stupid **** that didn't even have the brains to use protection - that's how you got there. You exposed your child to being born with a possible smorgasboard of diseases by doing so, therefore yes, you are a bad mother."

    Great ending.

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    Legacy's Avatar
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    This **** conceived with the sperm of at least 5 men swimming inside her.

    A study in the UK showed 25% of babies are conceived with the sperm of 2 or more men inside.

    Women are effin disgusting.

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    AussieSteve's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AC101202 View Post
    This **** conceived with the sperm of at least 5 men swimming inside her.

    A study in the UK showed 25% of babies are conceived with the sperm of 2 or more men inside.

    Women are effin disgusting.
    And don't forget, she would know the date of conception to within a week at the outside. That means she ****ed at least five men unprotected in a one week period. Sounds like she was trying to get pregnant without consulting the man. None of these men seemed like they wanted to be a father so she was trying to trick one of them into paying for a project that she alone wanted to embark on. Had she not wanted to drag him into her project at least that would be mitigating to a point but she tried to drag him in on national TV so she obviously wanted to trap one of them. She is a reprehensible being.
    Last edited by AussieSteve; 02-26-2011 at 05:19 PM. Reason: typo

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    Legacy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AussieSteve View Post
    And don't forget, she would know the date of conception to within a week at the outside. That means she ****ed at least five men unprotected in a one week period. Sounds like she was trying to get pregnant without consulting the man. None of these men seemed like they wanted to be a father so she was trying to trick one of them into paying for a project that she alone wanted to embark on. Had she not wanted to drag him into her project at least that would be mitigating to a point but she tried to drag him in on national TV so she obviously wanted to trap one of them. She is a reprehensible being.
    This chick was taking dick after dick after dick. And then cries about it. Of course Maurie Povich is mostly stagged, but there's no reason to think this doesn't happen in real life everyday.

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    donttrustwomen's Avatar
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    I'd also like to add its the biggest trap ever, the sex is probably amazing and thats how she draws you in, give it time and you will realize why the father of her kid left.

    Just remember if you want to get into a relationsh*t they are hard already without kids why make it harder on yourself? There's a billion women out there childless.

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    I made the mistake of having a relationship with a single mother. Now she is the mother of my child as well. I am out of the picture completely. So now she has two children, from two different men. And some mangina is dating her. lol.

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    AussieSteve's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dj_mgtow View Post
    I made the mistake of having a relationship with a single mother. Now she is the mother of my child as well. I am out of the picture completely. So now she has two children, from two different men. And some mangina is dating her. lol.
    And I assume she's getting a third of your wage and a third of his? That means (if you both earn the same amount) she gets as much as either of you for for doing nothing. If she manages to get pregnant to this new one she will be "earning" more than any of you.

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    It's been like this since I turned 18. It felt that all the "good" (Yeah, its a big stretch) women were taken. As if there was some unspoken formula that it had to be bf/gf in HS. Then fiance in the college years and marriage somewhere in there or after.

    Lo and behold some 4-6 years later they've split up and she has taken the kids, but the worst part isn't there. I've already have had three women who I've never heard from since high school just look me up out of the blue. The pictures I've seen is that they've gotten much fatter, uglier and really let themselves go. And I thought I could tolerate one child, but two... and the ex is going to the the type that still wants "in" on the fathering while I pay for everything. As if they expected me to wait up for them once they've had their fairytale romance and are looking to buckle down.

    I've completely blew off all three and didn't look back. Some nerve of these women I swear. It's bad enough I got taken advantage of by my own family and at work, but a relationship? No ****ing way!

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    Quote Originally Posted by AussieSteve View Post
    And I assume she's getting a third of your wage and a third of his? That means (if you both earn the same amount) she gets as much as either of you for for doing nothing. If she manages to get pregnant to this new one she will be "earning" more than any of you.
    The other father is not employable apparently he is on disability, as for me I offered support based on my government guidelines table but she has so far refused, as well as refused me access to the child. She herself is on welfare and her family are very wealthy, if you can wrap your head around that little tidbit lol. If she were to accept my offer she would receive approx 17% of my monthly income.

    The fun part is that I have actually become quite good friends with the other father, seeing as our respective children are siblings - its great because it drives her and her family quite mad that weve been chummy. lol. He really is a decent fella really - nothing like she described him as at all. You can hazard a guess at what her portrayal of him was.....
    Last edited by Dj_mgtow; 03-07-2011 at 12:27 PM.

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    My story with dating a single mother

    Good Day fellow brothers. I’ve been lurking on this site for some time, just haven’t signed up. I’m now a part of the brotherhood. I have a small story to share with this single mother topic. In my mangina days, I decided to date a single mother (I know big mistake) which I thought it was cool. At the beginning, I actually just wanted to stay as friends with her but then she kept on pushing to make it official.

    During the “courting” period, I just had that bad feeling in my soul about her and that she isn’t claiming to be the person who she really is. She was mean to her mother, she hated her Dad. She was always claiming to be the victim in her relationship with the father. Claimed he cheated and he wasn’t really “father material”. I asked myself “Then why would have even have a child with him?” He barely sent her money which she claimed was for the child. She always was shopping at Toys R Us buying him new toys frequently. Also buying him name brand clothes, shoes and even furniture, I asked her what was the point of spending all that money for something he doesn’t even acknowledge. (The kid was 2 at the time) She it has to do with quality, mind you that she wasn’t even working.

    With her, I noticed that she was always hiding to text “friends” aka former or current **** buddies. And she also tried to play victim again saying that she doesn’t know why guys are always texting for sex. Well duh, you are known to give it up quite easy. When there were times were I would come up beside her while she was texting and she would literally hide the phone. LOL. But me being a stupid Mangina, I didn’t think much of it. I asked her what’s up and she said nothing. Later on, she told me she had a lot of casual sex with people and even had a threesome. This was after having the baby. I felt disgusted.

    Then came in the expenses, paying for dinner for all three people, paying for Chuck E Cheese trips and other food wasn’t cool. Even the kid called me “dad” a couple of occasions. In the end, she decided that I wasn’t a good fit as I wasn’t really her “type”. She is into the thug/player types… Like her baby’s daddy. Those guys would only do the same thing to her then look for guys like me to help pay for the child. I saw this ‘Rough Guide” and could relate to a lot of it. Women aren’t worth the trouble they create. Thanks for the info and I’m glad I’m heading into the Ghosting territory. I apologize for the long story. All the best gents!!!

  18. #18
    Nacho Vidal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Junior_Mafia View Post
    Good Day fellow brothers. I’ve been lurking on this site for some time, just haven’t signed up. I’m now a part of the brotherhood. I have a small story to share with this single mother topic. In my mangina days, I decided to date a single mother (I know big mistake) which I thought it was cool. At the beginning, I actually just wanted to stay as friends with her but then she kept on pushing to make it official.

    During the “courting” period, I just had that bad feeling in my soul about her and that she isn’t claiming to be the person who she really is. She was mean to her mother, she hated her Dad. She was always claiming to be the victim in her relationship with the father. Claimed he cheated and he wasn’t really “father material”. I asked myself “Then why would have even have a child with him?” He barely sent her money which she claimed was for the child. She always was shopping at Toys R Us buying him new toys frequently. Also buying him name brand clothes, shoes and even furniture, I asked her what was the point of spending all that money for something he doesn’t even acknowledge. (The kid was 2 at the time) She it has to do with quality, mind you that she wasn’t even working.

    With her, I noticed that she was always hiding to text “friends” aka former or current **** buddies. And she also tried to play victim again saying that she doesn’t know why guys are always texting for sex. Well duh, you are known to give it up quite easy. When there were times were I would come up beside her while she was texting and she would literally hide the phone. LOL. But me being a stupid Mangina, I didn’t think much of it. I asked her what’s up and she said nothing. Later on, she told me she had a lot of casual sex with people and even had a threesome. This was after having the baby. I felt disgusted.

    Then came in the expenses, paying for dinner for all three people, paying for Chuck E Cheese trips and other food wasn’t cool. Even the kid called me “dad” a couple of occasions. In the end, she decided that I wasn’t a good fit as I wasn’t really her “type”. She is into the thug/player types… Like her baby’s daddy. Those guys would only do the same thing to her then look for guys like me to help pay for the child. I saw this ‘Rough Guide” and could relate to a lot of it. Women aren’t worth the trouble they create. Thanks for the info and I’m glad I’m heading into the Ghosting territory. I apologize for the long story. All the best gents!!!
    Welcome to MGTOW, a lot of us here can relate to the guide! Thanks for the story and I'm glad you got out of the situation unscathed!
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    Jakezilla's Avatar
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    I agree

    I tried dating a single mom as well. Eventually things broke down. At least her kids were older and I never saw them. Still a big waste of my time though. At least I escaped with my record in tack. 37 and no kids, never married. I hope this forum will help me keep it that way.

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by irlandes View Post
    I describe myself as blessed by God. My step-daughter is the best thing that happened to me in my life.

    HOWEVER, of all the 1,600+ men I counseled, I never encountered another man who found his step-kids to be anything but the worst thing that happened to him in his entire life. Don't do it!!!

    Something else, I noticed that men who I knew personally who actually adopted their step-kids, the divorce rate was 100%. No exceptions, none.
    Goes to show - there's an exception to every rule. Now you know him - it's Irlandes. Therefore, since you know who the exception is, you know it will NOT be you. Consider yourself warned

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    By Sam I Am in forum MGTOW General Discussion
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    Last Post: 08-31-2011, 10:52 PM

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