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Thread: Hamster denied food supply, wants to know how to get it back

  1. #1
    HoneyBadger's Avatar
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    Hamster denied food supply, wants to know how to get it back

    Hi Evan, Love your blog. Here’s my situation. I’m 37, single, and had a really bad breakup 2 years ago. I’m cautious but also a hopeless romantic. I finally meet this guy at a house party who intrigues me and reminds me of an old college boyfriend: cute, sweet, very shy. The first few dates, I really like him. He does everything right. He’s intelligent, curious, shows up, cooks me dinner… But around the 5th date, I start feeling ambivalent about him.

    We’ve made out but no sex. (I want to be sure before I go there.) I start wondering if he’s too nice/boring/granola. I’ve travelled a lot, my friends all tend to be pretty ambitious, successful, outgoing types. I worried if he would fit in. I found him too timid. So 4 weeks in (7 dates,) I felt trapped. I couldn’t wait to get away from him! I pulled away when he tried to kiss me. It was pretty obvious that I wasn’t feeling it. When he suggested seeing a movie that weekend or cooking dinner for me later in the week, I was noncommittal. I suggested dinner the following weekend. I figured there was no harm in dating casually a bit longer. Plus, I’ve chosen fun, charismatic guys in the past and that’s gone nowhere! I wanted to see if I could make things work with someone who didn’t make me feel super tingly but might be a good long term partner.



    But a few days later, he suddenly tells me things are moving too fast. He wants to dial it down and just be friends. When I asked why, he said “it just doesn’t feel right,” that I was giving out mixed signals and he had no say in anything. I was really, really shocked by this as the last time we met he was clearly keen to see me! So Evan, here’s the thing. He was right – I did give mixed signals. Ironically, (of course!) now that he has pulled away, I find him much more attractive and want him back. (I know this isn’t a healthy trait.)

    After that, I admitted via text messages (not ideal I know) that I had some issues, didn’t behave well, and agreed it would be good to be friends. (But I really wanted to see him again to see how I felt.) After pestering him with texts, he agreed to spend Sunday morning with me to go for a walk on the beach. And we had a lovely, relaxing few hours. I wanted to kiss him, but I didn’t. I wanted him to kiss me, but he didn’t. I joked, “too bad we’re not dating, otherwise I’d kiss you.” He asked what he said that was so charming. I told him I was feeling more relaxed and left it at that. We had a long hug when we said goodbye. He kissed me on the cheek twice and said something about maybe cooking dinner for me again sometime… Now, I’m confused. Does he really just want to be friends? Is he still interested at all? So two days later, I texted asking if we could meet up for dinner sometime. 3 days have gone by and NO response. Evan, what do I do? I want another shot with this guy. Yes, I was stupid to have taken him for granted so early on. I still don’t know if he’s the guy for me, but he has qualities I really like. I realize I focused on things that were superficial. I don’t want to act all crazy and start stalking him. He must know I really like him, right?



    Evan, you always say that a guy only wants to be with a girl who makes him feel good. I clearly didn’t make him feel good when I pulled away. How do I salvage the situation? I don’t even know if he pulled back because I pulled back or he met someone else or lost interest or he’s commitment-phobe. In which case, I’m better off not dragging things out… My question is, how can I get him to meet with me again in a low-pressure, relaxed environment so I can let him know genuinely how much I like him? Or should I just let it go? If he likes me, he will contact me himself, right? Help! Thank you! – Confused in the City


    So when the guy's giving her tons of attention and validation(hamster food) she thinks he's attractive as a cold bowl of oatmeal. Then all of the sudden the guy grows a spine and moves on to the next one(thus removing her vital supply of hamster food) she goes into panic mode and wants to know what she can do to get him back!

    She doesn't really want him back, she just wants the validation again.

    Bed. Made.Lie.


    HoneyBadger don't care

    How Do I Get The Nice Guy I Ditched To Give Me Another Chance? | Evan Marc Katz Blog - Dating Coach

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    Mandragora's Avatar
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    Lurkers, listen up. This "mixed signal" shit is a HUGE red flag. If she was really into him she would bang his balls off without hesitation. But what's really telling are these lines:

    "I wanted to see if I could make things work with someone who didn’t make me feel super tingly but might be a good long term partner".

    "I still don’t know if he’s the guy for me, but he has qualities I really like."

    Qualities = money/security. It's that fucking simple. She's waffling because the gina tingles aren't there, but he's got all these really great "qualities". She's nothing but a whore in denial. Whores are after either money or dick. If she's in your face but isn't fucking you, which one do you think she's after?

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    womanhater's Avatar
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    Evan Marc Katz = Mangina Gender Traitor

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    TheFireRises's Avatar
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    This exact thing happened to me in college.

    I don't believe in coincidences.

    Women are children.

    Act accordingly.

  5. #5
    TheDisgruntledGentleman's Avatar
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    Haha, the power of ignoring... it's an atom bomb...

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    Women are always looking to replace 'x' former boyfriend. If you're with a woman long enough and listen to her stories, you'll figure out which one you are. At the end of the day...one of my ex's major hangups is that she never REALLY got over her college boyfriend. That's a pretty common thing with women.

    That's just so odd to me, because looking back through my dating history...I don't think I've dated two women that closely resemble one another...in terms of appearance, style, demeanor, etc.

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    How old is this woman...37! I thought I was reading some 15 year old girl's letter to Cosmo magazine. What self-respecting man has time for that level of drama at 37? I'm only 33 and the amount of drama and bullshit that I'm willing to put up with for 'friends' and girlfriends is rapidly approaching zero.

  8. #8
    bubbagumpshrimp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by b-nasty View Post
    How old is this woman...37! I thought I was reading some 15 year old girl's letter to Cosmo magazine. What self-respecting man has time for that level of drama at 37? I'm only 33 and the amount of drama and bullshit that I'm willing to put up with for 'friends' and girlfriends is rapidly approaching zero.
    Yup. Same here. The problem (for a lot of guys) is that they'll put up with anything in the pursuit of pussy. I.e. This woman. Seriously...if a woman doesn't put out by the third date, move on. You can guarantee that she's gotten all wet for some guy at one point or another and put out on a first date. Don't be that guy that's a pussy beggar and thinks its ok for her to make him wait 'x' amount of dates or months.

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    AldenHamil's Avatar
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    Hah, bitch got friendzoned.. probably the first time it's ever happened to her. Feels good doesn't it, bitch?

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    This is a great anecdote, and it pretty much verbatim reinforces what I said in another thread...

    When a girl is interested in you, you will get the best treatment ever from her when she can't figure out whether or not you really care about her. Once she knows you care about her, you've hit the peak and are in for a long, gradual decline. The best way to avoid this is to always keep her guessing. It's OK to be affectionate, but you have to immediately follow that by leaving doubt in her mind that things will work out between you. The more time she spends wondering whether or not she has you, the more she will do to win you over. Don't forget this stuff. I know this doesn't mesh with the happily-ever-after story we've all been sold, but that's how it is. Relationships are games, and if you're going to play, play to win.
    http://www.mgtowforums.com/forums/sh...tml#post177535

    When this guy acted like a human being and showed his interest in her by being nice to her, she responded by brushing him off. When he brushed her off, her interest increased. When he gave mixed signals, it mind-fucked her and now all she can think of is how to get him back.

  11. #11
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    I hope this guy does actually get in touch with her again and teaches her a lesson in love: Fuck her in the arse and never contact her again. The shoe's on the other foot when the wall's approaching.

    Don't you cunts ever forget it.

    How's that feeling between your butt cheeks, ladies? Where have all the good men gone and why does my butt hurt so much?

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    MrWombat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HoneyBadger View Post
    My question is, how can I get him to meet with me again in a low-pressure, relaxed environment so I can let him know genuinely how much I like him?
    Touch him on the penis.

    Cosmotopian - SMBC Theater - YouTube

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    MrWombat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bubbagumpshrimp View Post
    one of my ex's major hangups is that she never REALLY got over her college boyfriend. That's a pretty common thing with women.
    Because women bond emotionally and sexually to the guy they are fucking. It's meant to be this way. She should have either married him, or not had sex with him. This is why chastity is such a good idea, because as a result of her carousel riding something important inside her psyche is broken and can't be fixed.

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    GT66's Avatar
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    *THAT* is so typically women and is very much the reason I just don't give a crap about them anymore. They seem to want a man to hang around endlessly waiting for them to sort their shit out long enough to make a choice. Well, fuck that. I've got a life to live and I ain't wasting any more of it waiting for some dingbat to work through the flakey shit she should have had sorted out in her teens.

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    bubbagumpshrimp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GT66 View Post
    *THAT* is so typically women and is very much the reason I just don't give a crap about them anymore. They seem to want a man to hang around endlessly waiting for them to sort their shit out long enough to make a choice. Well, fuck that. I've got a life to live and I ain't wasting any more of it waiting for some dingbat to work through the flakey shit she should have had sorted out in her teens.
    Yup. Women love to have options when it comes to men. In reality, they know whether or not they want to fuck a guy in short order. By failing to commit one way or another (either telling him to take a hike...or let's fuck), they create a scenario where they have a guy at their beck and call 24/7 (for as long as the guy is stupid enough to permit the situation to exist).

    The woman then has the best of both worlds: 1. She's able to continue to keep chasing around for a guy that makes her pussy wet, has more money, better car, etc. and 2. She's got a nice guy for a fallback option if she decides that she needs to settle and she can't do any better. At the end of the day, that's what most marriages and relationships represent...one or both parties settling for what they think is not necessarily good or great, but "good enough."

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    Quote Originally Posted by bubbagumpshrimp View Post
    Women are always looking to replace 'x' former boyfriend. If you're with a woman long enough and listen to her stories, you'll figure out which one you are. At the end of the day...one of my ex's major hangups is that she never REALLY got over her college boyfriend. That's a pretty common thing with women.

    That's just so odd to me, because looking back through my dating history...I don't think I've dated two women that closely resemble one another...in terms of appearance, style, demeanor, etc.
    The phenomenon is called 'alpha widow'

    Five Minutes of Alpha |

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    Deathslayer's Avatar
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    This is why women seem to love bad boys, thugs, or whatever you want to call them. In reality, the only thing women love is validation. They don't like bad boys either. The Bad boys, the Alpha-males, the thugs, just hold out validation like a carrot on a stick, and these hamster ankle whores fuck, suck, cook, if they actually know how to cook, cry bitch and moan indefinitely chasing that carrot.


    crh
    Women act like this mainly due to ball-less manginas

    That mangina gave shitty advice like a broad would


    TheHeroUnsung
    "How do I Get The Nice Guy I Ditched To Give Me Another Chance?"

    I'm glad you've come to the right place for an answer. Here's the best answer.

    You suck his dick,
    play with his balls, and
    let him smash then
    bust loads over your eye lashes.

    Afterwards fix him a sandwich, then proceed to let him kick you out of his house, and never talk to you again. Hey if you've done this with scumbags no problem, then you should do this for the "Nice Guy." Sorry no mangina advice here. You will suffer the consequences for making stupid decisions. I bet next time you will choose a good man, however I won't hold my breath. Females maine, females.....

    Deathslayer

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    McCracken's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by b-nasty View Post
    How old is this woman...37! I thought I was reading some 15 year old girl's letter to Cosmo magazine. What self-respecting man has time for that level of drama at 37? I'm only 33 and the amount of drama and bullshit that I'm willing to put up with for 'friends' and girlfriends is rapidly approaching zero.
    This. I got a headache from reading that profile.

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    Abydos's Avatar
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    Compared to the advice that women like this usually get, I think Evan gave her a diet red pill.

    I'm also considering the fact that Evan has found a way to make money off of these women by giving them dating advice. Think about it--

    Get a bunch of career women with a bunch of money, women who want a man, women who have no clue how to actually attract a man, women who will then pay you to help attract said man => profit!

  20. #20
    JDAM's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheFireRises View Post
    Women are children.

    Act accordingly.
    I resent that.

    Children are open to being taught new and productive things.

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